Pat: I’ve been shopping for a wedding gown for about two months now, and I just can’t seem to commit to one. At the very first shop I went to I found a dress I thought was “the one,” but didn’t want to say yes to a dress at the first store I visited–I felt like I needed to see what else was out there. Since then I have found two more dresses I really love, but I just haven’t had one of those bridal moments where I put on the dress and just know that this is the perfect one. Will I ever have one of those moments? I know I could probably be happy enough with one of the three dresses I’ve found, but how am I supposed to know which one to choose if I don’t feel more special in one than the other? What if the perfect dress is still out there and I just need to find it?
It sounds like you’re feeling overwhelmed! That tends to happen after you’ve visited a lot of bridal boutiques, and my best advice is to stop looking at new dresses. The more dresses you try on the more confused you will become, and the more you’ll begin to doubt yourself. This will just make deciding on a gown even more difficult.
I know many brides expect to have that moment where they slip into a dress and realize it’s “the one”–it’s a moment dramatized over and over again in movies and in shows like Say Yes to The Dress. The fact is, however, that not every bride is going to have this moment, and that’s okay! Every bride is different, so we shouldn’t expect every bride’s wedding gown shopping experience to be exactly the same.
That being said, if you’re not the type of bride who will have that moment of realization when you’ve found the perfect dress, it can be a little harder to determine which dress is “the one.” As in your case, you might end up visiting several bridal shops and finding several gowns you love.
When this happens, and when you begin to feel stressed by the shopping experience, it’s time to stop trying on new styles. Instead, think about the options you’ve already found. Try to remember how you felt in each dress. Does one stand out in your memory? Was there one you really could imagine yourself walking down the aisle in?
If you can’t remember the gowns well enough, try booking appointments to re-try on each of the dresses you have in mind (and just those dresses!). It’s best to do this alone or with just one family member or close friend who you know will be supportive. Trying on the favorites back to back should make it easier to discern which of the gowns you truly love best.
Often the feelings you had about each gown will return when you see yourself in it again–or you might find you don’t feel the same about the dress at all during this second look.Be sure to try on each gown with veils and accessories so that you can visualize the full look you’ll have on the big day.
In the end, go with your gut. You likely know which dress is “the one,” but aren’t trusting yourself to make the decision for one reason or another. Take a deep breath, get the insecurities out of your mind, and choose whatever makes you happy. No matter what you choose, you will look and feel beautiful on your wedding day.
